It's embarassing and it's gross and it really messes with my already non-existent self esteem.
Having acne is tough. I have to wear make up every single time I leave the house to help cover it up.
It's stressful wearing make up. And I hate doing it.
I put concealer on the red spots (which are everywhere), then powder, then bronzer and it adds a good chunk of time to my morning routine.
I can't just roll out of bed and go to school like all my friends do.
Most people don't have acne like I do. Yes, you get zits and pimples sometimes but it's nothing like what I go through.
I've been to heck and back with my acne.
I started washing my face with ProActiv in 7th grade (2007). My acne at the time really was not bad at all, I think I just had a few zits here and there. But as a precaution my mom bought me ProActiv.
The regimen really dried my skin out and I got flaky dryness everywhere. By the beginning of 8th grade my skin was getting just a tad worse. More zits, more redness more oil, but I never wore make up, my skin was still generally pretty clear.
In November 2008 I left public school and started doing online homeschool. I don't remember how I was taking care of my acne. I think I was using a face wash from Avon or maybe it was Melaleuca. I do have a picture from this time and my acne was sooo bad and it's just really gross. Red zits all over my face.
In 9th grade I started using a product called CleanStart. It had 3-4 steps in the regimen, like Proactiv. It worked really well and my face was pretty clear for the most part but I still had acne. It was this year that I started using a tan colored SPF cover up to mask the redness.
In 10th grade I started eating really healthy. I stopped eating sugar and lost weight. My mom also took me to a dermatologist and I started a new skin care routine: I took a pill called Solodyn for my acne, I was washing with Benzoyl peroxide and some other special products. It was a mixture of the eating and the pills and the other products that my face was the best I think it's ever been!
My skin cleared up as a result of these products. It really did.
The moment we stopped paying for the pills and other treatments is when my acne started getting really bad again.
I am now in 11th grade and I have reached a point where my acne is the worst it's ever been and it is really really bad. I have severe acne. I don't even know how it's possible that it's gotten this bad.
Tyler, my 13 almost 14 year old brother, is in 8th grade and has bad acne now, too. It runs in our family.
There are a lot of reasons my acne is at it's worst right now. I am not eating as healthy as I used to. I have been actually eating pretty unhealthy. Not enough fruits and veggies and too much sugar.
I am using Mary Kay's facewash line and I really like it. It's not healing or curing my acne, but I think it's helping keep it somewhat under control.
What am I trying to get to, here? I want to find a cure for my acne. There must be some way to be cured from this horrible
I've been thinking and praying a lot lately. Acne is a trial for me. Other people might have trials like loss of family members to cancer, sickness, divorce, poverty or other things. My trial is acne. Heavenly Father only gives us trials that we can handle and they're always designed specifically for us.
What does God want me to learn from having acne? Me and my mom were talking about this a few weeks ago when I was sitting on her bed crying like a big baby because "I hate acne", "it's not fair", "nobody else has acne but me", "it hurts so bad", "it's embarrassing" and yada yada yada.
We came up with some ideas. I am maybe more compassionate, more accepting of others because I have acne. If I had a perfectly clear complexion, maybe I wouldn't be as loving to everyone and people that have acne or other visible issues.
Maybe it makes me more humble. Maybe it is going to help me learn to take better care of my body.
I have been doing a lot of reading. I am reading The China Study by Dr. T. Colin Campbell and he basically says, and all his research points to the fact that a whole foods, plant based diet is the answer to curing diabetes, heart disease, obesity, osteoporosis and the growth of tumors in our bodies. His book is really influential and is the reason I don't eat meat or dairy anymore.
I was also reading some websites that were saying that some people's bodies react on the outside to the toxins in our bodies. And acne is a result of our body reacting to the toxins that our body makes when we don't eat the right foods.
So I've come down to the proclamation that I can heal my acne with good nutrition. I used to eat sugar free and my face was always the best when I was eating that way. So I'm going to start eating better.
I have extremely bad acne, so I have to go to extreme measures to get results, right?
So I am eating no sugar, no dairy, limited amount of oil/fat. I am going to eat lots of vegetables, egg whites, beans, whole grains and fruits.
And I am going to be really strict about this. If the bread we buy has even just a little sugar in it, I am not going to eat it. If I want results it's going to take a lot of commitment and I have to be strict. It's going to take a really long time of commitment to get results, too. I'm going to need to eat this way for many many months to see if it works. It's not going to be a quick fix.
And maybe acne is just genetics and maybe I can't actually cure it with diet. But it's worth a try. I am willing to try anything.