Tuesday, October 9, 2018

lifeeee got me likeeeee

Life is kind of hard. I think everyone can agree. But lately things have just felt harder for me. I find myself being truly overwhelmed by what I have to do on a day to day basis and feeling anxious and scared for what is coming next.

For example. I have a new job as a substitute teacher. I like that I get to pick the night before what school, grade and job I want to take. But being in a new environment every day and never knowing what to expect is extremely stressful and draining. 

Also, I did not get into BYU and so instead I'm staying here in Florida and going to UCF. And I'm devastated. I wanted to go to BYU so bad. 

I'm also picking a major which requires graduate school. And even though I'm pretty excited about the major, graduate school scares me to death. Getting into grad school in the first place scares me to death. 

My knowledge of Speech-Language Pathology is limited to what my mom knows from her friends that do it. But apparently it's a great career and in high demand, so we're going for it. Since I don't know what else I really want to do at this point in my life. I'm going to shadow someone next week and see how it goes, too. 

I just really hope that I can have a good experience at UCF. And that I'll be able to make friends. 

I'm not going to UCF until January so in the meantime, I'm trying to work as much as possible. I'm going to start a second job. I have interviews at Target and Publix this week. 

Thursday, June 28, 2018


I quit my job today. And it was littttttt. Just kidding it was literally the worst. I wasn't sure if I was going to stay and actually work for a few hours or if I was just going to leave. I decided pretty quickly that I wouldn't be able to effectively work knowing that it was my last day. I walked into the call floor and found a manager. She walked me out to the front of the building, took my badge and that was it. I didn't even get to say goodbye to anyone. That place is like a freaking prison. They don't let you talk to anyone even to say goodbye. Uggghhhh I'm just so glad I'm out of there. I've been working there since the end of last summer. Boiiiiii I can't believe I lasted that long working there. It is the absolute worst. SO DONE.

Now I can focus on my two summer classes that just started, my BYU application, my Primary Program for my kiddos at church, exercising and volunteering. Hahaha like I couldn't do all those things before. But really, working there just completely drained me and sucked all the life out of me.

And I have a new job starting in August to be a substitute teacher. YAH YEEET.

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Soooo about Rexburg

Soooo here's the thing. I really really didn't want to go back to Rexburg. Like, honestly, I didn't have a great experience when I was there. I was super depressed, I hated my classes, it was really cold, it was really hard to make friends, I only went on two dates, I didn't have a car so I was literally stuck in Rexburg with nothing to do most of the time since I didn't make any friends that had cars. And I generally just didn't enjoy it.

Buttttt, here's the thing. I've been considering going back even though I've been hating on it ever since I left, because THEY HAVE MY MAJOR. I want to do Spanish Education and they have it! BYU Provo also has it but they only accept 50 students into the program per semester or something and I worry that it will be super competitive and I will just be so stressed out and I hate that uncertainty about getting accepted or not. Soooooo, BYU Idaho is looking pretty good right now. BUT I still hate Rexburg. There's NOTHING there. Just a Walmart, the campus and the temple. It's not fun. But my mom was like, you're going there to get an education, that's what matters. Well, yeah. But I'd like to enjoy my time there.

Thinking back about everything though. I was really young when I went there. And I was only there for 1 semester. That was back in September 2013, so it's been like 5 years now. Geez that's crazy. So I mean, I'm sure that my shyness that I used to have was a big reason why I absolutely hated it. I've had a lot more life experiences now. I went on a mission, worked at Disney, worked sales and customer service for insurance. And I feel a lot more confident in myself and feel like I'll have a better time. Also now that I'm almost 100% positive that I want to go into Spanish Education it makes me that much more excited and happy to be at school since I see the end goal in sight. That was not the case when I was there in 2013.

Plus I'm about to graduate with my AA so I'll only have to be in Rexburg for 2 years hopefully!

I don't know though. It's tempting to just stay in Florida. In the warmth. With my family. It's definitely more of a growing experience to go out west though, I think. Plus IRSC doesn't have Spanish education, I would have to do regular education.

Too tired to write anything but this was fun :)